Jumat, 29 November 2013

Zašto se žene ne smije silovati- part 1!



U ionako nejasnim lekcijama o seksualnosti koje dobijemo u pubertetu, zaborave nam spomenuti kako mjerilo žene ne leži u njenoj seksualnosti, kako se ženu ne bi smjelo nazivati kurvom i kako se ženu ne bi smjelo silovati. Kako se radi o posve zdravorazumskim tvarima, poneka majka možda i neće osjećati potrebu da takvo što uči svog sina, kad to već neće učiniti škola ili društvo. No, budući da još uvijek živimo u društvu u kojem je normalno da se ženu naziva kurvom i okrivljuje je se za silovanje, izgleda da je to itekako potrebno.


Sjećate li se tipičnog razgovora kojeg svaka majka obavi sa svojim sinom u nekom periodu njegova odrastanja, a koji ide otprilike ovako: „Sine bez obzira na to kako se žena oblači ili ponaša, to nije poziv da je se maltretira, napada ili siluje. Žensko djevičanstvo, kao ni ženska seksualnost općenito, nije nagrada i spavanjem sa ženom ne sakupljaš bodove. Tvoja seksualna iskustva ne određuje tvoju vrijednost kao što ni seksualna iskustva žene ne određuju njenu vrijednost. Žena se ne mora fizički boriti s tobom i ne moraš je zakucati na pod pa da bi to bilo silovanje. Ako je žena pijana ili je pod utjecajem bilo kakvih opojnih sredstava, to samo znači da nije u stanju dati legalan pristanak na seks, a ne da je laka meta ili da to zaslužuje. Sine, žene se ne smiju nazivati kurvama!“  „Da mama, tako je!“

Ah da, ne sjećate se ovog tipičnog razgovora jer ga nijedna majka nikad nije vodila sa svojim sinom (bar ne na brdovitom Balkanu). Ali sigurno se sjećate tipičnog razgovora koji svaka majka obavi sa svojom kćeri kad ova uđe u pubertet, a koji ide otprilike ovako: „Budi oprezna kako se oblačiš i kako se ponašaš, lako je zaraditi lošu reputaciju. Dečki se jednostavno ponašaju tako kako se ponašaju, moraš se pomiriti s tim. Moraš paziti na sebe, ako se obučeš tako i tako, neki ljudi bi to mogli shvatiti kao poziv.  Nikad nemoj izlaziti sama. Nipošto se ne vraćaj doma sama. Nemoj da ti padne na pamet piti iz tuđe čaše!“  „Da mama, tako je!“


Ovakve rečenice možda jesu dokaz  roditeljske brige, ali prije svega one su dokaz da živimo u izopačenom društvu s izvrnutim vrijednostima. Ono što roditelji u biti govore djeci jest:  „Ženska je odgovornost osigurati se od uznemiravanja, zlostavljanja, napada i konačno silovanja jer eto dečki će uvijek biti dečki i neki od njih si jednostavno ne mogu pomoći.“ Ali  tko su ti ljigavi frajeri zbog kojih majke ne smiju pustiti svoje kćeri na tulume i u klubove, tko su ti ljigavi frajeri koji žene nazivaju kurvama, zvižde za njima na ulici, „slučajno“ ih dodiruju u prolazu,  prate ih doma usred noći i napadaju?  To su naši vršnjaci, kolege, dečki, bivši dečki, prijatelji, očevi, stričevi, braća…To nisu neki Drugi. Nema Drugih, ti Drugi smo Mi!. Mi, kao društvo odgajamo monstrume koji misle da su žene kurvetine koje zaslužuju silovanje. A tko odgaja monstrume? Iste te majke koje svojim sinovima zaborave napomenuti da žene nisu kurvetine koje zaslužuju silovanje. Prestanimo kriviti  Druge i pogledajmo istini u oči. Majke ne mogu dići zidove do neba i staviti svoje kćeri pod stakleno zvono kako bi ih zaštitile od tih Drugih koji vrebaju s druge strane, ti Drugi su  su već unutra.



Živimo u društvu u kojem se djevojku nakon što je silovana pitaju pitanja poput: „ Što si nosila na sebi?“ i „Koliko si popila?“. Djevojke se upozorava da ne ostanu silovane, umjesto da se ne samo očekuje, nego i traži od muškaraca da budu odgovorni za slut shaming i silovanje.  Žene žive u strahu od muškaraca, odgaja ih se da budu u strahu od muškaraca i onda su na kraju one krive jer ih se objektivizira, jer ih se naziva kurvama, jer ih se siluje!  Ali strategija „čuvaj se silovanja“ je kontraproduktivna jer održava postojanje kulture  u kojem su žene u konstantnom strahu, a muškarci i dalje ne osjećaju potrebu da podnesu odgovornost. Glavna krivnja se prebacuje na alkohol jer  navodno od njega muškarci postaju agresivniji, a žene ranjivije. Pritom zaboravljamo da se silovanja dešavaju  u obitelji i na poslu. Uobičajena je praksa da se socijalni problemi pripisuju uporabi opojnih sredstava, ali prebacivanje krivice za silovanje na neku supstancu itekako govori o tome kakav stav imamo prema silovanju. Tješimo se kako je alkohol kriv za silovanje. Takvim stavom stvara se vjerovanje da je silovanje jednostavan problem koji nastaje vrlo jednostavno i isto tako se rješava. Takvim stavom stvara se vjerovanje da je silovanje nešto što je u ljudskoj prirodi, situacija u kojoj muškarac pod utjecajem alkohola oslobađa svoju prirodnu seksualnu energiju u formi agresije, dok žena u isto vrijeme oslobađa svoju prirodnu pasivnost.  Umjesto da učimo muškarce da budu odgovorni za svoja ponašanja, smišljamo  načine kako da odgovornost prebacimo na žene. Kondomi sa zupcima ili anti-rape donje rublje, samo su neki u nizu produkata koji služi tome da krivnju za silovanje prebacimo na ženu i maknemo je sa silovatelja. I dalje se svodi na to da se žene moraju zaštiti od toga da budu silovane umjesto da se muškarce nauči da prestanu silovati.  Umjesto da zatvaramo silovatelje, mi pod ključ stavljamo vagine. Činjenica da postoji nešto kao što je moderni pojas nevinosti govori da se nismo daleko maknuli od srednjeg vijeka kada govorimo o seksualnim slobodama i pravima žena. Osim toga, pojasevima nevinosti i kondomima sa zupcima nećemo spriječiti da se siluju muškarci, djeca, invalidi  i transseksualne osobe. Time se isto tako  pojačava stav da silovanja čine zli nepoznati ljudi koji čuče u mraku čekajući ženu da se stavi u opasnu situaciju, a dobro znamo da se dvije trećine silovanja dešava od nekog koga je žrtva poznavala. 


To be continued
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 Why are we not allowed to rape women - part 1!



In the already vague lessons about sexuality thatwe get in puberty, they forget to mention that the measure of a women doesn’t lie in her sexuality, that a woman shouldn’t be called a whore and that a woman shouldn’t be raped. Since this is a very common-sense matter, somemothers might not feel the need to teach their sons such things, whenschools or society won’t do it. But since we still live in a society where it is normal that women are called whoresand blamed for rapes, it seems that this is very much needed.


Do you remember the typical conversation every mother has with her son at some point in his growing up, which goes something like this: "Dear son, no matter how a woman dresses oracts, it is not a call to stalk, assault or rape her. Femalevirginity, as well as female sexuality in general, is not a reward, and sleeping with a woman doesn’t mean collecting points. Your sexual experiencedoesn’t determine your value, the same as sexualexperience of a woman doesn’t determine her value. A woman doesn’t have to physically fight youand you don’t have to knock her down to the floor in order to call it a  rape. Ifa woman is drunk orunder the influence of any intoxicants, it just means that she is not able to give legal consent to sex, and not that she is an easy target or that she deserves it. Son,  women should not becalled whores! "" Yes, mom, I agree! "

Ah yes, you don’t remember this typical conversationbecause no mother ever had it with her son (at least not in the mountainous Balkans). But surely you remember the typical conversation every mother has with her daughter whenthe girl enters puberty, which goes something like this: "Be careful how you dress and how you act, it's easy to earna bad reputation. Guys just behave the way they behave, you have to come to terms with it. You've got tolook after yourself, if you dress in certain way, some people might see it as an invitation. Never go out alone. Certainly do not come home alone. Do not even think of drinking from someone else's glasses! "" Yes, mom, I know! "


Such sentences are perhaps evidence of parental care, but primarily they are proof that we live in a perverted society with twisted values​​. What parents really tell their children is:  “ It is woman’s  responsibility to ensure herself from  harassment, abuse, assault and rape , because ultimately  boys will be boys, and some of them just can’t help themselves." But who are these sleazy guys because of which mothers can’t let their daughters to parties and clubs , who are these sleazy guys who call women whores, who catcall them on the street, " accidentally " touch them in passing, follow them home at night and attack them? These are our peers  colleagues, boyfriends, ex - boyfriends , friends, fathers, uncles, brothers ... They are not the Others . There are no Others , just Us! We, as a society raise monsters who think that women are whores who deserve rape . And who raises the monsters? The same mothers who forget to mention to their sons that women are not whores who deserve rape . Let's stop blaming Others and let's face the truth . Mothers can not put up walls to the sky and put their daughters under a glass bell in order to protect them from those Others who lurk on the other side, these Others are already inside.


We live in a society where a girl after she is raped is asked questions like: " What did you wear ? " and " How much did you drink? “. Girls are warned not to stay raped, instead of not only expecting, but also asking  men to be responsible for slut shaming and rape . Women live in fear of men, they are raised to be afraid of men, and then at the end they are blamed because they are objectified, called whores and raped! But "beware of rape" strategy is counterproductive, because it maintains the existence of culture in which women are in constant fear, and men still do not feel the need to bear some responsibility. The main fault is switched to alcohol since because of the alcohol, men become more aggressive and women more vulnerable. In doing so, we forget that rapes occur in family and at work too. It is common practice to attribute social problems to substance use, but putting blame for rape on a substance says a lot about the attitude we have towards rape. We are consoling ourselves that alcohol is guilty of rape. Such an attitude creates the belief that rape is a simple problem that occurs very easily and is easily fixed. Such an attitude creates the belief that rape is something in human nature, a situation in which a man under the influence of alcohol frees his natural sexual energy in the form of aggression, while a woman at the same time frees her natural passivity. Rather than teaching men to be responsible for their behavior, we invent ways to shift the responsibility on women. Condoms with teeth or anti - rape underwear are just some  products which serve to shift the blame for the rape on women and get it from the rapists . I still boils down to the fact that women must be protected from being raped instead of teaching men to stop raping. Instead of closing the rapists, they put our vaginas under the key. The fact that there is still something like a modern chastity belt says that we didn’t come  far from the Middle Ages when it comes to sexual freedom and women's rights . In addition, the chastity belt and condoms with teeth will not prevent rape of men, children, the disabled and transsexuals. This also reinforces the view that rapes are committed by  unknown evil people lurking in the dark waiting for a woman to be put in a dangerous situation, and we know that two-thirds of rapes occur from someone the victim knew .



To be continued

Kamis, 28 November 2013

90- te su se vratile na velika vrata i u novoj kolekciji brenda Cycle ReCycle!




 Martina Tompić /dizajnerica koja se skriva iza brenda Cycle ReCycle/ o novoj kolekciji:

Volim taj ulični (pomalo klošarski) sport look 80ih i 90'ih, pogotovo s ovim velikim pletenim kapama koje se sad  opet vraćaju u modu,  a jaknice sam već prije dva mjeseca nabavila, ali sam čekala idealno vrijeme (zimu:) ) i nešto što će se uklopiti s njima (kao ovaj new york dress.) Sve stvari su 100% old school VINTAGE - samo sam majicu MONEY FOR NOTHING (s novčanicama) preradila, ali je i ona vintage.  Fotkano je kod mene (5m od kuće) ispred  mehaničarske  radionice :)

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90s made a big comeback in the new Cycle Recycle collection too!

Martina Tompić / designer who hides behind the brand Cycle Recycle / about the new collection:

I love this street (somewhat hobo) sports 80s and 90s look, especially with these great knitted caps that are now back in fashion and I have already purchased the jackets two months ago, but I was waiting for the perfect time (winter :)) and something I could fit them with (as the New York dress.) All items are 100% old school VINTAGE -  I just reworked  Money For Nothing  T-shirt (with notes), but it is vintage too. Photos were taken near my place in front of a mechanic workshop :)






Selasa, 26 November 2013

Kroasan puding - perverzno ukusno!




2 kroasana ili bilo kakav stari kruh
100 g šećera (ili 5 žlica šećera)
1 žličica vanilin šećera
2 žlice vode
125 ml slatkog vrhnja
125 ml mlijeka
1 žlica ruma ili bilo koje druge žestice
2 jaja
+ ako želite banane ili bilo koje voće ili pak Nutella <3 ili sve skupa

Zagrijati pećnicu na 180 stupnjeva. Narezati kroasane na 1 cm debele šnite i staviti u veću posudu. 

Šećer, vanilin šećer i vodu staviti u lonac na srednju vatru, jednom izmiješati i pustiti da se karamelizira do jantar smeđe boje. Dodati slatko vrhnje, mlijeko i rum i kratko prokuhati  ( 2- 3 min ) neprekidno miješajući pjenjačom da nastane srednje gusta karamela. Preliti karamelu preko narezanih kroasana, lagano izmiješati (da se previše ne slome) i pustiti 10- ak min da se „napiju“. U vatrostalnu posudu staviti polovicu smjese, po sredini staviti Nutellu i prekriti ostatkom smjese. Peći 20 -25 min. Servirati vruće ili hladno, uvijek je fino. 


Po receptu Nigelle Lawson čiji će vas recepti, ali i  persona ostaviti bez daha! 


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Croissant Pudding - perversely delicious!

2 croissants orany old bread
100 g of sugar (or 5 tablespoons of sugar)
1 teaspoon of vanilla sugar
2 tablespoons of water
125 ml of cream
125 ml of milk
1 tablespoon of rum or any other liquor
2 eggs

+ If you wantadd banana or any fruit or Nutella <3 or all together

Heat the oven to 180degrees. Slice the croissants into 1 cm thick slicesand place in a larger bowl.

Put sugar, vanilla sugar and water in the poton medium fire, mix it once and let it caramelize to amber brown. Addcream, milk and rum and boil briefly (2-3 minutes), stirring constantly with a whisk to form medium thickcaramel. Pour caramelover sliced ​​croissants, gently mix (without breaking them too much) and let them soak for 10 minutes.  In an ovenproof dish put half the mixture, put Nutella in the middle and cover with  rest of themixture. Bake for 20 -25 minutes. Serve hot or cold, it's always delicious.



According to the Nigella Lawson recipe, whose recipes and persona will leave you breathless!


Sabtu, 23 November 2013

Veliki povratak 90- ih u novoj kolekciji brenda Neha Neha!



 Dizajnerica Nela Kliček o novoj kolekciji njenog brenda Neha Neha:



"Nova kolekcija za jesen/zimu 2013 je u znaku 90ih, nonšalantnosti grunga i sportskih elemenata poput baseball majice s raglan rukavima, oslikanih traper jakni i vojničkih košulja te naravno odrezanih, ilustriranih kratkih hlačica." 

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 Great comeback  of the 90s  in new Neha Neha collection!

 Designer Nela Kliček about new collection of her brand Neha Neha:


"New autumn / winter collection 2013 is dedicated to the 90s, grunge nonchalance and sport elements like baseball shirts with raglan sleeves, painted denim jackets and militaryshirts and of course cut off illustratedshorts."









 
"Naglasak je na udobnosti i predimenzioniranosti određenih komada u kontrastu s odrezanim, kratkim hlačicama. Jedna od glavnih stilskih uzora bila mi je Angela iz serije I to mi je neki život koji ja tretirala odjeću kao sigurnosnu dekicu i često je navlačila rukave prevelikih košulja i  jakni  u kombinaciji s kratkom haljinicom. Izuzetno sam pazila na kvalitetu trapera i materijala pa je tako traper uglavnom vintage Levi's, a košulje savršeno očuvane i originalne vojničke (koje jamče svojim kvalitetom jer ih je ipak šivalo Kamensko prije tridesetak godinom), dok sam za majice birala finiji i deblji đersej."
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"The emphasis is on comfortand certain oversized pieces contrasted with cutoff shorts. One of my major stylistic role models was Angela from the series My So- Called life whotreated clothes asa security blanket and often pulled on sleeves of oversized shirts andjackets and combined them with shortdresses. I was very careful about the quality of  denim so it mostly vintage Levi's and shirts  are perfectly preservedand are original military shirts ( their quality is guaranteed by the fact they were made by  Kamensko Factory thirty years ago), and for the t-shirts I chose finer andthicker jersey."




 



"Majice su šivane od đerseja u kombinaciji s različitim materijalima. Opet je glavni faktor udobnosti i da je svaka majica ilustrirana i unikat. Motivi na majicama posuđeni su iz pop kulture, a naći će se pravi mali čušpajz od lyricsa, tumblr relikvija, okultnih motiva. Naravno da sam našla  i način da u cijelu tu pričam uguram i nešto 70ih i napravim hommage Keith Richardsu koji je prvi furao majicu s natpisom Who The Fuck Is Mick Jagger. "

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"T-shirts are sewn from thick and warm jersey in combination with a variety of materials. Again the emphasis is on comfort and the fact that each shirt is illustrated and unique. Motifs on T-shirts are borrowed from pop culture and you will also find a mix of lyrics, tumblr relics and occult motifs and I even found a way to fit in some of the 70s in the whole story and make an homage to Keith Richards, who was the first to wear Who The Fuck Is Mick Jagger shirt."








 check out more @ https://www.facebook.com/nehanehaclothing

photos my Nela Kliček