Na prethodni tekst o silovanju inspiriralo me nekoliko stvari. To je svakako odličan članak spisateljice, novinarke i medijske aktivistice Carine Kolodny koji sam nedavno pročitala i na temelju istog napisala tekst, a u kojem Carine govori o tipičnom razgovoru koji bi svaka majka trebala imati sa svojim sinom po pitanju silovanja i seksualnosti općenito. Zatim, tu je slučaj silovane djevojke u Zadru od prije par mjeseci. Maloljetnu djevojku nadrogirali su, a potom i silovali mladići u dobi od 16, 17, 18 19 i 22 godine. Djevojci su evidentirane i blaže fizičke ozljede, da ne spominjem one psihičke koje će je pratiti do kraja života. Policija je doduše ustvrdila da djevojka nije izgledala potreseno pri davanju iskaza i u skladu time joj nije ponuđena psihološka pomoć. Oni se eto zaključili da joj takvo što ne treba. Unatoč svim dokazima, slučaj je klasificiran kao spolni odnos bez pristanka, a ne kao silovanje. Tu je i činjenica da imam prijateljicu koju je silovao brat, prijateljicu koju je silovao otac te preko nekoliko prijateljica (ako ne i sve) koje su bile žrtve slut shaminga, „slučajnih“ dodirivanja u prolazu i ljigavaca koji bi usred parka izvadili penis i igrali se njime. To su dvije prijateljice previše koje su silovane od strane svojih bližnjih i preko nekoliko prijateljice previše koje su doživjele ono što su doživjele. Konačno, tu si i moja osobna iskustva te golemi strah ili bolje reći fobija koju osjećam od mračnih gradskih ulica. U životu su me previše puta nazvali kurvom jer sam otvoreno pričala o seksu, seksala se više no što se to očekivalo od mene ili imala prekratku suknju, previše puta sam ostala spavati u krevetu nekog frajera jer mi se od pomisli da u 3 ujutro idem sama doma preko pola grada grčio mozak. Previše puta sam na putu doma čvrsto stiskala ključeve u rukama i molila Boga da se sutra probudim živa i zdrava. I zaista, pitanje silovanja neće biti riješeno sve dok ćemo pri povratku kući iz izlaska u rukama nositi ključeve, ali ne kao sredstvo kojim ćemo otključati vrata, nego kao sredstvo obrane. Mi nismo kurve i ne zaslužujemo silovanje koliko god kratke suknje imale i koliko god voljele seks. A i da jesmo kurve, pitajte nas zašto smo odabrale baviti se time? Sigurno ne zato što svaka od nas od malih nogu sanja da jednog dana zarađuje za život pušeći kurčeve.
U prošlom tekstu pisala sam o tome kako muškarci ne žele preuzeti odgovornost za počinjena silovanja. Zašto i bi kada to društvo ne očekuje od njih, a često ih niti ne kažnjava. No, u čemu leži korijen muškog ne preuzimanja odgovornosti? Što se tiče muškaraca, neki od njih očito misle da žene zaslužuju biti silovane. Neki od njih očito misle da je normalno silovati svoje kćeri, da ne spominjem da u divnoj hrvatskoj Lici još dan danas postoje obitelji u kojima je ne samo normalno, nego se i očekuje da kćeri zadovolje oca seksualno, ukoliko to majka ne želi ili nije u stanju. To je njihova dužnost. Dakle, osim što neki muškarci misle da je normalno žene nazivati kurvetinama i silovati ih, korijen njihovog ne preuzimanja odgovornost leži i u tome što se ženi zapravo ne vjeruje kad kaže da je silovana. U Francuskoj se nedavno dogodio zanimljiv slučaj (iako takvih slučajeva ima svuda po svijetu, stalno!) Otac je uhićen jer je silovao kćer. Djevojčica je silovanje prijavila školskom pedagogu pa onda i policiji, ali policija je trebala „čvršći“ dokaz da se silovanje zaista dogodilo. Stoga je dijete snimilo sljedeći očev napad. Nakon što je otac napokon priveden, njegov odvjetnik je objasnio cijelu stvar sljedećim: „Radilo se o periodu kad je otac bio nezaposlen i usred razvoda, s tim da se napadi nisu događali duže od tri, četiri mjeseca unatrag“ .Molim??? Kakvo je to društvo koje ne vjeruje djevojčici ni nakon što je potražila pomoć, imala hrabrosti postaviti kameru da snimi svog oca kako je OPET siluje i konačno svjedočila protiv njega na sudu?!
Ženi se ne vjeruje niti kada kaže da nije zainteresirana. Sjećate se slučajeva kad bi vam se vani nabacivala neka pijana seljačina koja bi odustala tek kada bi rekli da imate dečka ili biste za rukav povukli prvog frenda da glumi tog dečka. Seljačina vas u tom slučaju automatski ostavlja na miru, ne zato jer vas poštuje kao osobu, jer poštuje vaše tijelo i vaš odjeb, već zato što ste nečije vlasništvo. Reći da jednostavno nismo zainteresirane zvuči tako nevjerojatno. „Šta' ne bi bila zainteresirana? Šta' si lezba „ Zašto bi tu uopće bilo isprike, zašto bi se ja trebala ispričavati zato što nisam zainteresirana? Zar nije opcija da jednostavno nisam zainteresirana za snošaj ili što već? Aha, ja lažem da nisam zainteresirana, ali pustiti ćeš me na miru tek kad kažem da imam dečka, tek onda kad naglasim da sam tuđe vlasništvo. Zašto NE nikada zaista ne zvuči kao NE?
Nitko ne kaže: „Ženama se ne može vjerovati!“, ali to itekako radimo. Mit o lažljivoj ženi itekako je ukorijenjen u funkcioniranje našeg društva, on ide toliko daleko da nadilazi pitanje silovanja. Ženska vjerodostojnost po konstantnim je upitnikom na radnom mjestu, na sudu, kod doktora, u politici i zapravo bilo kojem polju u kojem žene egzistiraju. NE vjeruje se da žena može biti pilot, dobar šef ili radnik. Mislite da pretjerujem? A koliko se puta kad ste vidjeli uspješnu ženu, koja k tome dobro izgleda, pomislili kome je dala pičke da dođe do te pozicije? Naravno, nevjerojatno je da je do svega došla sama, svojim intelektom i trudom. U Pakistanu se od žene još uvijek očekuje da na sud dovede četiri svjedoka koji bi svjedočili kako je zaista silovana. U protivnom očekuje je tužba za preljub. Da, Pakistan jest radikalan primjer, ali to što je radikalan primjer ne umanjuje činjenicu da je odnos prema ženama u tom dijelu svijeta monstruozan. Ipak, postoji jedno područje u kojem se ženama vjeruje, a to je majčinstvo – najveće područje podcijenjenog ženskog rada.
A kako to točno učimo da žene lažu, da nisu toliko kompetentne kao muškarci ili pak da njihova svjedočanstva nisu vjerodostojna kao ona u muškaraca? Od prve biblijske drolje Eve koja je Adamu dala jabuku i time upropastila čitav ljudski rod i poznatog biblijskog utjelovljenja ženske nevjerodostojnosti Dalile do pop kulture i serija kao što su Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, Don't Trust The Bitch in Apartment 23 i Devious Maids, žene su prikazane kao lažljive kučke koje upropaštavaju muškarce. I da sigurno ima jako puno lažljih kučaka na ovom svijetu, ali zar je to razlog da ne vjerujemo ženama kad kažu da su silovane?
Prisjetimo što su o ženama rekli veliki crkveni oci:
„Žene su slabe i površne ... Jer što ježena, nego neprijatelj prijateljstva, neizbježna kazna, nužno zlo, prirodnoiskušenje, prirodna opasnost, zlo, greška u prirodi, oslikana prekrasnim bojama?"
Sveti Ivan Zlatousti – jedan od najvećih crkvenih otaca, nijedan crkveni pisac nije tako temeljito i s toliko osjećaja tumačio tekst Sv. pisma kao što je to činio Ivan Zlatousti
“ Što ne može dobiti, ona traži kroz laži i đavolske. Muškarac mora biti na oprezu sa svakom ženom kao da je otrovna zmija ili vrag“ obmane "
Sveti Albert Veliki - filozof, teolog, svetac, crkveni naučitelj i what not..
" Što se tiče individualne prirode, žena je kvarna i nezakonita"
Sveti Toma Akvinski- jedan od najvećih crkvenih umova.
“Žene su stvorene da budu žene ili prostitutke“
Martin Luther - začetnik protestantske reformacije
„Svaka žena treba biti ispunjensrama zbog pomisli da je ona žena ...svijest o vlastitoj prirodi mora izazvati osjećaj srama“
Sveti Klement Aleksandrijski - prvi "doktor kršćanstva"
Treba spomenuti i stavove Origena, jednog od najvećih kršćanskih mislilaca, čovjeka koji se sam kastrirao i koji je smatrao da je žene gora od životinja.
Drugim riječima žena je dobra samo da se u nju stavlja kurac i da rađa. Ne dokazuje li to kršćanstvo tako detaljno? Žene je u kršćanskoj religiji posve nevidljiva, žene ne može biti svećenica niti će ikad imati značaj kao što to ima muški aspekt. A oke, pardon, žena kao Majka Bogorica ima značajnu ulogu, tik uz Boga. Wow, ostavili su nam da biramo između dva lika - Majke Bogorice, žene koja rađa i time ispunjava svoju jedinu i najvažniju dužnost i Marije Magdalene, kurve koje je preobraćena nakon što je popušila Isusov sveti kurac.
I iako danas mnogi religijski vođe ne idu okolo i propovijedaju kako je žena kurva iz pakla, činjenica jest da su stoljeća ovakve usmene predaje i učenja učinili velike štete. Ideje o ženi, ženskom kredibilitetu i legitimnosti onog što žena kaže, potekle od katoličkog i evangelističkog svećenstva, ostale su duboko s ukorijenjene u kolektivnu svijest. Zašto bi se danas fokusirali na mrtve teologe i filozofe? Zato što njihove riječi imaju domet daleko izvan religije i vremena u kojem su djelovali! Naši stavovi uvjetovani onim što je rečeno prije tisuće godina vidljivi su u našim domovima i radnom mjestu. Svaki put kada žena ne može služiti za oltarom, svaki put kada djevojčica ne može sudjelovati u nekoj igri, svaki put kada se djevojka ne može obući kako želi, svaki put kad je žena napadnuta na bilo koji način i kad joj se kaže da to mora dokazati, ovi stavovi itekako su prisutni. Kontroliranjem žene, njenog odabira odjeće, njene volje ili fizičke slobode, ovi stavovi se dodatno učvršćuju. Ženske želje su iracionalne i plod su sotonskog i zato je u redu da patimo. Po toj logici u redu je da je žena neplodna ili pak umre na porodu jer eto plaća za grijehe počinjene u životu, u redu je da žene koje su počinile abortus nakon istog imaju posljedice bilo fizičke, bilo psihičke jer eto učinila je nešto protiv božje volje, u redu je da je žena silovana jer je to samo drugačija forma pristanka…
Što možemo? Možemo, ne nasmijati se na neke šale, gledati filmove i serije kroz dozu kritike, zatvoriti neke knjige, ne slagati se onim što tvrde ljudi u našoj okolini pa bili oni obitelj i prijatelji i za početak prestati govoriti ženama da su kurve…Predložila bih i neke forme kažnjavanja kao što je kastracija silovatelja na živo, ali to ne bi bilo etično, kao što je etično da silovatelje puštamo na slobodu, a vagine stavljamo pod ključ!
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Why are we not allowed to rape women - part2
Few things inspired me to write my previous article about rape. First of all a certainly excellent article by a writer, journalist and media activist Carine Kolodny. I recently read her article about a typical conversation every mother should have with her son on the issue of rape and sexuality in general and wrote my last text on the basis of that article. Then, there is the case of the raped girl in Zadar few months ago. Underage girl was drugged and then raped by young men aged 16, 17, 18, 19 and 22. Girl had milder physical injuries, not to mention those psychical who will follow her for the rest of her life. Policehowever claimed that the girl didn’t seem distressedwhen giving testimony and in accordance to that she was not offered psychological help. They concluded that she didn’t need such a thing. Despite all evidence, the case was classified as sexual intercourse without consent, and not as a rape. There is also the fact that I have a girlfriend who was raped by her brother, a girlfriend who was raped by her father and few friends ( if not all ) who were victims of slut shaming , "accidental" touching in passing and creeps who would pull out their cock in the park and play with it. That's twogirlfriends too many who were rapedby their relatives and far too many girlfriends who have experienced what they have experienced, Finally, there are my own personal experiences and immense fear or better to say phobia I feel on the dark city streets. In my life too many times I was called a whore because I openly talked about sex , had more sex than was expected from me or had a too short skirt, too many times I stayed the night in some guy’s bed because from the thought of going home alone at 3 A.M. over half the city my brain convulsed. Too many times on my way home I held my keys tight in my hands and prayed to God that tomorrow I wake up alive and well. Indeed, the issue of rape will not be solved until on our way home from a club we continue to carrying keys, but not as the means of unlocking the door, but as a means of defense. We are not whores and we do not deserve to be raped, no matter how short skirts do we have and no matter how much we love to have sex. And even if we are whores, ask us why we chose to do it? Certainly not because from childhood all of us dream of earning a living from smoking cocks one day.
In previous article I wrote about how men do not want to take responsibility for committing rape. Why would they when society doesn’t expect it from them, and often they do not even get punished. But what is the root of men not taking responsibility for rape? As for the men, some of them apparently think that women deserve to be raped. Some of them apparently think it is normal to rape their daughters, not to mention that in the beautiful Croatian region of Lika even today there are families in which is not only normal, but also expected from daughters to sexually please their father, if the mother doesn’t want to do it or can’t. It is their duty. Well, except the fact that some men think that it is normal to call women whores and rape them, the root in their not taking responsibility lies in the fact that nobody really believes woman when they say they were raped. In France an interesting case occured recently (although such cases happen all over the world, all the time! ) Father was arrested for raping his daughter. The girl reported the rape to a school counselor and then to the police, but the police needed "stronger" evidence the rape really happened. Therefore, the child filmed her father during next attack. After the father was finally arrested, his lawyer explained the whole thing by following: " It was a period when the father was unemployed and in the middle of a divorce, and the attacks have not occurred for more than three or four months back." Beg your pardon? What kind of society does not believe the girl even after she asked for help, had the courage to set up the camera to film her father rape her again and eventually testified against him in court ?
The woman is notbelieved when she says she is not interested too. Remember thesituation when you are out and some drunkenredneck is hitting on you and won’t stop until you say you have a boyfriend or to until you grab first friend to act like he is your boyfriend. In that case redneck will automatically leave you alone, not because he respects you as a person, not because he respects your body and your refusal, but because you are someone's property. To say that we are just not interested sounds sounbelievable. "What wouldn’t you be interested? Are you're a lesbian?" Why would there ever be any excuse, why should I have to apologize because I'm not interested? It is not an option to just not beinterested in intercourse or whatever? Yeah, I'm lying I'm not interested, but you'll let me be in peace only when I say I have a boyfriend, when I point outto be someone else's property. Why do NO never really sounds like NO?
Nobody says: "Women are not to be trusted!" but we certainly do it. The Myth of lying wife is very much rooted in the functioning of our society, it goes beyond the question of rape. Women's credibility is under constant question in workplace, on court, at a doctor’s office, in politics and in fact any field in which women exist. Women are not believed to be pilots, good bosses or employees. You think I'm exaggerating? What about the number of times you saw a successful woman, who moreover looks good, and you thought who did the bitch had to fuck with to get to that position? It is of course unbelievable that she got it herself, with her intellect and hard work. In Pakistan, women are still expected to bring four witnesses to trial who would testify they were actually raped. Otherwise, they expect a lawsuit for adultery. Yes, Pakistan is a radical example, but the fact that it is a radical example does not diminish the fact that the attitude towards women in this part of the world is monstrous. However, there is one area in which women are trusted, and this is motherhood - the largest area of underrated women's work.
And how exactlyare we taught that women are lying, that they are not as competent as men, or that their testimony is not credible asit is that of men? From the first biblical slut Eve who gave Adam the apple andthus ruined the wholehuman race and the famous biblical incarnationof women's non-credibility Delilah to pop cultureand series likePretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, Do not Trust The Bitchin Apartment 23and Devious Maids women are shown aslying bitches that ruin men. And there are certainly a lot of lying bitches in this world, but is that really a reason not tobelieve women when they say they were raped?
Let's remember what did great Church Fathers say about women:
Women are "weak and flighty...For what is a woman but an enemy of friendship, an inescapable punishment, a necessary evil, a natural temptation, a domestic danger, delectable mischief, a fault in nature, painted with beautiful colors?"
St. John Chrysostom - one of the greatest Church Fathers, no other church writer had so thoroughly and with such emotion interpreted the text of Holy Scripture as did John Chrysostom
St. Albertus Magnus - philosopher, theologian, saint andwhat not ..
"As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten"
Thomas Aquinas- one of the greatest Church minds
"Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman...the consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame."
St. Clement of Alexandria – first Doctor of Christianity
Martin Luther - the initiator of the Protestant Reformation
We should mention the views of Origen too, one of the greatest Christian thinkers, men who castrated himself and who believed that women are worse than animals.
In other words,a woman is goodjust to put a dickinside of her and to give birth. Doesn’t Christianity prove it in such a detail? Women are completelyinvisible in Christian religion, a woman can not be a priest, nor will ever havesignificance as ithas the masculine aspect. Ah oke, sorry, womanas the Mother of God plays an important role, next to God. Wow, they left us to choose between two characters- Mother of God, women who gave birth and thus fulfilled her sole and most importantduty and Mary Magdalene, slut who got convertedafter she sucked Jesus's holy penis.
And although today many religious leaders do not go around and preach that women are bitches from hell, the fact is that centuries of such oral traditions and teachings did a lot of damage. Ideas about women, women's credibility and legitimacy of what women say, descended from Catholic and Evangelical clergy, became deeply rooted in the collective consciousness. Why should we focus on dead theologians and philosophers today? Because their words have a range far beyond religion and times in which they existed! Our attitudes are conditioned by what has been said thousands of years ago and are evident in our homes and on workplace. Every time when a woman can not serve at the altar, each time when a girl can not participate in a game, each time when a girl can't dress how she wants, whenever a woman is attacked in any way and must prove it, these attitudes are very much present. By controlling women, controlling how they dress, their will or physical freedom, these attitudes are additionally secured. Women's desires are irrational and are product of satanic and therefore we must suffer. By that logic, it's okay that women are infertile or die in childbirth because that's paying for the sins committed in life, it's oke that they have physical and psychological consequences after committing abortion, because they have done something against God's will, it's okay to rape women because it's just a different form of consent ...
What can we do? We can notlaugh at somejokes, watch movies and series throughdose of criticism, close some books, disagreewith what people sayin our environment, even if they are familyand friends and stop saying women are whores... I would suggest some formsof punishment such as castration of rapists, butit would not be ethical ethical such as letting rapists go, and putting vaginas under the key!
text written by Iva
text edited by Iva
sources for the texts:
text edited by Iva
sources for the texts:
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