Gdje je sreća? - part 4

Da sumiramo sve prethodno...

Tužni smo jer:

a) Imamo nerealna očekivanja

S pozitivnijim životnim iskustvom nego vlastiti roditelji koji su preživjeli ratove, gladi i depresije, naši roditelji odgajali su nas u optimističnom ozračju nepreglednih mogućnosti. Sjećam se kako mi je majka, još uvijek uvjerena da me čeka blistava budućnost, uvijek govorila: "Ti ćeš fino završiti fakultet, naći posao, kupiti stan i udati se!". Malo li je znala da naći posao po završetku fakulteta nije laka stvar, kao ni naći tog savršenog partnera za kojeg nam zaborave napomenuti kako zapravo ne postoji. Govorili su nam da možemo biti što god poželimo, ugrađujući nam pritom u psihu ideju posebnosti i predodređenosti za velike stvari. No, iza ograde nas po završetku školovanja nije dočekala velika zelena livada, nego razočarenje, kriza identiteta i jedno veliko ništa. Osjećaj ogromne nade koji je u nama ostavio odgoj naših roditelja koji su imali samo najbolje namjere, splasnuo je brzo iz dva razloga:

1. Ono što su imali naši roditelji, dakle siguran posao i egzistencijalnu sigurnost do kraja radnog vijeka, više nije dovoljno. Mi ne želimo samo sigurnost, mi želimo ispunjenje, sreću, unutarnji mir i zadovoljstvo, termine o kojma naši roditelji, a pogotovo naši djedovi i bake nisu puno razmišljali.
2. Ispostavilo se da ne samo da su sreća i siguran posao rezervirani za nekolicinu nego i da je nemoguće naći bilo kakav posao, a kamoli izgraditi karijeru do te famozne 30-e, takozvanog vrhunca odraslosti.

b) Ne znamo što želimo

Uspavljivali su nas pričama o odraslosti, a pritom su zaboravili napomenuti kako odraslost ne funkcionira po jednostavnoj jednadžbi – završi fakultet, nađi posao, udaj se, kupi stan, rodi, odgajaj, radi i umri. Zaboravili su napomenuti da prinčevi i princeze iz bajki zapravo ne znaju što žele raditi do kraja života u trenu kad upisuju fakultet. Zaboravili su napomenuti da prinčevi i princeze nakon happy enda imaju zapravo sasvim prosječne, ako ne i katastrofalne brakove. Zaboravili su spomenuti i krizu identiteta koju prolaziš na putu prema toj odraslosti koje se na kraju, ako pitate mene, očituje samo u tome koliko govana si u stanju progutati. I dok gledam, tuđe napuhane verzije vlastite egzistencije, vođena krivim savjetima i bajkama koje su mi servirali čitavo djetinjstvo, pitam se što ja uopće želim i hoću li u ovom društvu ikada uopće imati priliku ostvariti ono što želim? Gdje se kupi taj identitet koji mi je prijeko potreban kako bi znala što želim i čime se želim baviti do kraja života?

c) Vođeni smo stavovima i pravilima drugih

Unutarnji glasovi koji nas vode u odraslost, zapravo su glasovi naših roditelja i vršnjaka, naših škola i radnih prostora, naših medija i sadržaja koji konzumiramo. Glas našeg "ja" u cijeloj priči je potisnut. Kao da nije dovoljno što se vodimo savjetima drugih, jednako izgubljenih individua, mi tražimo potvrdu istih. To se zove prestiž. Ljudi su tako napaljeni na prestiž. Ali najbolji način da zaradimo odobravanje i poštovanje jest da se ponašamo kao da nam ne treba. To jednako vrijedi i za umjetnost i za posao...i za ljubav ..i za seks..zapravo za sve vrijedno posjedovanja.

Ono što sam uspjela saznati iz savjeta svih velikih ljudi koje sam citirala u prethodnim tekstovima je ovo:

1. Nema jednostavnog recepta za sreću, nađi ono što voliš i rokaj po tome i pusti neka se tvoje percepcije mijenjaju, nemoj se zadano držati cilja

2. Zajebi prestiž, mišljenje i potvrdu drugih

3. Nađi svoj cilj, nemoj dopustiti da ga drugi definiraju

4. Radi, radi i onda radi još malo

5. Okruži se ljudima koji te nadahnjuju

6. Ako tražiš ljubav svog života, prestani, čekati će te kada počneš raditi stvari koje voliš

7. Ako ti se nešto ne sviđa u životu, promijeni to

I dalje se čini kao lagan recept, i zaista jest lagan.Ono što je teško je skuhati obrok zvan život. To je znao i sam Huter S Thompson kojeg sam citirala na početku, a koji je koliko god da je dao dobar savjet na temu, skončao tako da si je oduzeo život hicem iz pištolja. Hoćemo li na kraju zapasti u ludilo i posegnuti za antidepresivima ili pak pištoljem ili ćemo naći sreću, nešto je što ne mogu znati, ali ono što znam jest da krajnje vrijeme da prestanemo srat' i ozbiljno se primimo posla.

photos: http://www.c-heads.com/2014/01/16/marusya-pianzina-by-tasya-kudryk-for-c-heads/

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                              where is happiness -?  part 4

Let's summarize all previously said...

We are sad because :

a) We have unrealistic expectations

With a more positive life experience than their parents who have survived wars, famine and depression, our parents raised us in an optimistic atmosphere of boundless possibilities. I remember how my mother, still convinced that bright future is waiting for me, always used to say : "You will finish college, get a job, buy an apartment and get married ". Little did she know that finding a job after graduation will not be an easy task, or finding the perfect partner for whom they forgot to mention he doesn't actually exist. They told us that we can be whatever we want, while incorporating the idea of uniqueness and predestination for great things into our psyche. But after graduation we were not welcomed with a large green meadow behind the fence, but with disappointment, identity crisis and big nothing. The feeling of tremendous hope that upbringing by our parents who have had only the best intentions dwindled quickly for two reasons :

1 ) What our parents had, a secure job and existential security until the end of their working life, is no longer enough for us. We do not want just security, we want fulfillment, happiness, inner peace and contentment, terms our parents , especially our grandparents didn't think too much about.

2 ) It turns out that not only happiness and a secure job are reserved for the very few, but also that it is impossible to find any job at all, let alone gain a career until the famous 30s', the so-called peak of adulthood .

b ) We don' know what do we want

We were put to sleep with stories about adulthood, but they forgot to mention that adulthood does not work by the simple equation - finish college, get a job, get married, buy a flat, have children, raise children, work and die . They forgot to mention that princes and princesses from the fairy tales do not really know what do they want to do for the rest of their life, at the very moment they enter college They forgot to mention that princes and princesses actually have quite average, if not disastrous marriages after the happy ending. They forgot to mention that you 're going through an identity crisis on the way to adulthood, which if you ask me, is manifested only in how much shit you're able to swallow . And as I look at other people's inflated versions of their own existence, guided by wrong advices and tales I was served throughout my entire childhood, I wonder what do I want to do with my life and will this society ever even give me a chance to accomplish what I want ? Where do I buy this identity that we urgently need if we want to know what to do with the rest of our life ?

c ) We are guided by the attitudes and rules of other people

Inner voices that guide us into adulthood are actually the voices of our parents and peers, our schools and work spaces ,our media and contents we consume. The voice of our inner " I " is suppressed in the whole story. As if it's not enough we take advices of other people, who are equally lost individuals, we seek confirmation from that same people . It's called prestige . People are so crazy about prestige. But the best way to earn approval and respect is to act as if we do not need it . This is as true for the art as for business ... and for love .. and sex .. really everything worth owning .

What I have learned from the tips of all the great people I have quoted in previous articles is :

1.There is no simple recipe for happiness, just find what you love and do it and let your perception change, do not stick to the plan sto hard

2. Fuck prestige, opinion and confirmation from other people

3 Find your goal, do not let it be defined by other people

4. Work, work and then work some more

5. Surround yourself with people who inspire you

6. If you 're looking for the love of your life, stop , they will wait for you when you start doing things you love.

7 If you do not like something in your life , change it

 Still seems like an easy recipe , and it really is easy , What is difficult is to cook a meal called life. Huter S Thompson , who I quoted at the beginning knew it too, but although he gave good advice on the subject he ended up by taking his own life with a bullet. Will we eventually fall into insanity and resort to anti-depressants or a gun or we will find happiness , it's something I don't t know , but what I do know is that it 's about time we cut the crap and get down to serious work .

 photos: http://www.c-heads.com/2014/01/16/marusya-pianzina-by-tasya-kudryk-for-c-heads/